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An Honest Review

Road of No Return-An Honest Review

An honest, biased review of the 2009 crime movie ‘Road of No Return’.

The 2009 crime movie was written and directed by Parviz Saghizadeh. It’s the story of four hitmen, who after a mission, have to look after two young girls.

PLOT:

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD:

The DVD cover promotes itself as “Reservoir Dogs meets Pulp Fiction”. I see the Reservoir, not so much the Pulp Fiction. Four criminals are forced to live together. Like in RD, these are all experienced criminals, none of whom know each other, to hide their real identities they came up with nicknames. They are:

The Foreigner ( Michael Blain Rozgay ), Russian

Blacky ( Ernest Anthony )

Whitey ( Shane Woodson ), Neo Nazi

Indian ( Jose Andrews ) native American

Like in Reservoir Dogs, these are hardened criminals, each with different backgrounds and different personalities, none of them trust each other. I know this is more of a conclusion thing, but don’t be mistaken into thinking Saghizadeh is the next Tarantino. In fact, he Saghizadeh completely dissapeared from the movie world after this.

Meanwhile, their bosses, J. Marcone ( Michael Madsen ) and Mr. Hover ( David Carradine ) are planning to kill them, in order to cover themselves up, because apparently their a secret governmont organisation that’ll get exposed somehow. The four go on their mission, sniping down some drug dealers, and taking in the two little girls, that were probably victims of human trafficking.

( Michael Madsen ) Aldo Gonzalez Kurdet Abi
License – https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en

So long story short, Macone and Hover send in some assasins to kill the four. Whitey and Indian die. Blacky and The Foreigner escape. On the run, Foreigner and Blacky look out for the girl, eventually ending in a final confrontation with Marcone. They meet him in the middle of nowhere, California. They surrounded by gunmen, Marcone sharing an anecdote about Greek mythology, Blacky and Foreigner are Icarus, and he is the sun. Blacky and Marcone are shot down. Foreigner adopts the girl as his own. The End.

CONCLUSION:
Unlike what the DVD cover would have you believe, it ain’t no Reservoir Dogs, and it sure as hell ain’t no Pulp Fiction. Even if Michael Madsen was in this. Other than film’s two stars, the acting was mediocre at best, the four main actors all portraying vanilla stereotypes. Madsen and Carradine, despite an obviously weak script, did the best that the script would allow.

Otherwise, the film didn’t deliver anything new, no great action scenes, no great dialogue, no messages that haven’t already been said better, no unique style seperating him from anybody else. I wouldn’t recommend this, even if you’re a die hard Madsen or Carradine fan. Sure, it was better than Madsen’s Megalodon, I guess. Which isn’t a very high standard. I’d give this film a 4/10.

-The Screenwriter

RIP to David Prowse, the legendary Darth Vader, we met at a convention many years ago

All photos from Wikimedia Commons – https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en

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