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An Honest Review

Ender’s Game – An Honest Review

An honest, biased review of the 2013 Star Wars wannabe film ‘Ender’s Game’ starring Asa Butterfield and Harrison Ford.

The 2013 sci-fi flick was written and directed by Gavin Hood. It’s the story of Ender ( Asa Butterfield ) a boy living in a world in the constant threat of an alien race, whose thrusted into a secret military program.

/ Asa Butterfield ) Photo by Joella Marano

PLOT:

We’re introduced to Ender as a regular kid. Nothing special. He’s sisters with Valentine ( Abigail Breslin ) and that’s about sll there is to talk about him. That and throughout the entire film – his acting is cringeworthy at best! I’m amazed he still has a career.

Then out of basically nowhere, Colonel Hyrum Graf ( an extremeley bored looking Harrison Ford who I’m sure didn’t just agree to the movie for the paycheck ) and Major Gwen Anderson ( Viola Davis ) draft Ender against his will into a space military program, leaving his family to just put up with it.

( Harrison Ford ) Photo by Gage Skidmore

Also, I think it’s noteworthy how for some reason aparently just about every single major soldier in the world has aparently died, but their willing to trust 11 year olds with space destroyers. Just saying. Standards flown right out the window.

( Viola Davis ) Photo by Red Carpet Report on Media TV

So far it’s been a mediocre film at best, but it really doesn’t get much better from here. Ender and a whole group of Pewdiepie fan aged kids eat, sleep, train and live together. Harrison Ford acting as their de-facto mentor, despite barely actually showing or teaching them anything. As for the other kids? Same level of equally rage-inducing cringy acting and dialogue. Even Hailee Steinfeld, who delivered one of my all-time favorite child performances – her acting’s as flat as a can of Diet Coke that’s been open since they took cocaine out the recipe.

The rest of the film just revolves around Ender doing some training, vaguely showing off signs of clearly forced rebelliousness. Then he takes a side quest and meets face-tattooed Ben Kingsley. Who somehow ended up in…this…

( Ben Kingsley ) Photo by Joella Marano

After this awkward little encounter with tattooed Gandhi, Ender recieves training from Kingsley and Han Solo to defeat the alien armadda – and hurray! He wins. Because in this movie 10 year old kids with like a week of training are aparently better admirals than Han Solo. Sure movie. Sure.

CONCLUSSION:

Overall, Ender’s Game was a mess of a failed adaptation. Confused, cringy, and a waste of time. Cast seemed incredible, Hugo Cabret, Indiana Jones, Little Rock, Gandhi, Abraham from Zoo….I expected better, and so did the fan’s of the novel. 4.5/10.

-The Screenwriter

All photos follow this license –

https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en

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