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An Honest Review

Don’t Kill It-An Honest Review

An honest, biased review of the 2016 horror film ‘Don’t Kill It’ starring Dolph Lundgren.

The 2016 low-budget horror movie was Mike Mendez and written by Dan Berk and Robert Olsen. It’s the story of Jebediah Woodley ( Dolph Lundgren ), a demon hunter investigating a series of demonic murders in a Mississippi small town.

( Dolph Lundgren ) Photo by to Eva Rinaldi
License – https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en

Spoilers ahead, I guess

PLOT:


After opening a rare container on a deer hunt, a hunter is pocessed by an ancient demon. His eyes turn pitch black, the man once before is gone. He goes on to shoot up a house full of people, eventually, he’s killed, the person who killed him becoming the new pocessed. This goes on until eventually the town takes care of the situation.

Then our two main protagonist arrive on site, the first is FBI Agent Evelyn Pierce ( Krisina Klebe ), who lived in the town long ago. There’s not much to say about her, her character was genuinally just vanilla. Her dialogue? Vanilla? Her looks? Vanilla? Her personality? Vanilla? In fact, with the only slight exception being Lundgren, that applies to pretty much every character in the movie, a weaker copy-paste version of a different character the writers probably saw in some other movie.

Jebediah arrives on site, instinctively knowing the murders are linked to the supernatural. At first, the townfolk are understandably beyond sceptical, assuming he’s just crazy, they lock him up. Only until Evelyn hears the witness’ explain the situation, that she then starts buying what Ivan Drago is selling.

As a result of literally everyone else not believing him, he and Evelyn are forced to flee town. Having found a motel in the middle of nowhere, Jebediah finds scars on Evelyn’s back, meaning she’s an angel descendant.

Jebediah and Evelyn come back to town, finding a man with a pocessed daughter. Jebediah explains the scenario to the Father, he brews him a potion, telling him to drink it and kill his daughter, claiming that it would destroy the demon. It fails, miserably.

After retreating to the woods, the film ends in a bloodbath, Evelyn and Jebediah are confronted by a horde of townfolk, lead by a priest. Finding the demon captured in a rope atop a tree, they use a ‘kill first, ask questions later’ kind of attitude. The demon gets loose, resulting in every single one of the attacking townfolk’s death. Evelyn shoots the demon-infected priest, causing her to be pocessed. The angel blood in her body causes her to levitate in the air, killing both her, and the demon inside her. Jebediah later gathers the demon remains and stuffs them into a flask, and tosses them into the ocean. Then it gets eaten by a shark. The End.

CONCLUSION:

Overall, ‘Don’t Kill’It was a fairly mediocre film, a lot of it having to do with the bizarrely low budget, which is said to have been around one million$, a large portion of which was most likely used to pay for Lundgren. Other than the budget, the film also appears to have followed a not-so-great screenplay.

There was nothing groundbreaking about Don’t Kill It, nor was there anything so intolerable about it, that I couldn’t bear to the end. As a whole i’d describe DKI as a decent attempt from a former actionstar to reclaim the stardom he once had, 4/10.

-The Screenwriter

All photos from Wikimedia Commons – https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Main_Page

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